Deja Vu Blogfest - A Lesson From Mama

As promised, it's time for DL Hammons' "The Day of the Do Over." 

DL is giving us a chance to re-post special news, maybe an important event, or perhaps something that just bears a second look.  (Thanks, DL!) 

Here's mine. I trimmed it at bit since there are lots of blogs to visit in this blog hop. This was the part I wanted to share again.

An After-Christmas Gift

As far back as I can remember - and that goes pretty far back - we always had tinsel (or icicles) on our Christmas tree. It was the only decoration that we considered 'disposable'.  The last thing to go on and the first to come off, and be thrown away, before all the other ornaments were packed away for next year.

But a few years back, when it was time to decorate our tree, I discovered most stores had stopped selling tinsel. No one we talked to was quite sure why. Probably a health hazard of some kind, another one of those things I've used or done for most of my life that has now been deemed unsafe. So there would be no tinsel on our tree. There would be a lot more ornaments, though. That was the first Christmas after my dear mum-in-law had passed and we had brought her Christmas ornaments home to add to our own.

Not surprisingly, all of Mama's ornaments were very old and very well cared for. Most were still in their original boxes. But there was also something wrapped in several sheets of tissue paper. I carefully unfolded the paper and discovered...tinsel. About two boxes worth, I guessed, each strand carefully laid out and saved from previous years.

We used Mama's tinsel that year, and saved it for the next. I've since found a store that still sells tinsel and I bought several boxes but they remain unopened  For now I use Mama's, and I take the time to remove each strand after Christmas and return it to the tissue paper wrapping for next year. It reminds me of her, and it also reminds me of how easily we throw things away. We've become a disposable society. It's easier to discard what's old or broken or would take too much effort to save. Things, relationships, people.

Mama knew it's important to save what we have. To care for, repair, and cherish. She left this knowledge for us, wrapped in tissue paper, to be opened and remembered every year. I thought it was a gift worth sharing with you.

 * * * * * *

Here are the links to the other participants in this Blog Hop. Happy hopping and don't forget to say hi when you visit.

What! Christmas is Next Week?!?

Happy Hump Day

Wait a minute. This is supposed to be my last Hump Day post before Christmas. That means...oh my gosh! Christmas is a week away!!!!

I'm not ready. I having more shopping to do, and wrapping, and planning Christmas dinner for the whole family. 

I should have known it was coming. There are signs everywhere. Even in my own house. 

In my living room. 

In my family room. 

 

Over the fireplace. 

But how did it get here so quickly? 

Okay, tell you what. How about if I just share a couple of my favorite bits of Christmas funnies.

The Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas
 
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
 
a.. TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
 
b.. ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note)
 
c. TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping

d. NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression

e. EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans
 
f. SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands
 
g. SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
 
h. FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration. 

NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, hens and  partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further  Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.
 
i. FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
 
j. THREE deconstructionist poets
 
k. TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses, and
 
l. ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

 

 Number eight has always been my favorite.

(Bovine-Americans...hee hee hee).

And here they are...those fabulous Silent Monks.

I love that video every Christmas.

I wouldn't forget your "aw".

I know we see lots of cute pics of sleeping pups, but this little one is definitely somebody's furbaby.

 

It got me.

Not only is this an "on the run" post - it will be one of two this week. 

Come back by on Friday for my post in DL Hammons'...

Okay. Was that enough to get you over the hump? I hope so.

Are you ready for Christmas?

 A Happy and Blessed Hanukkah to my Jewish friends.

Quote for Today:

I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
I notice this, each year I live;
I always like the gifts I get,
But how I love the gifts I give!
~Carolyn Wells

A Hump Day Quiz for You

Happy Hump Day

Okay, I'll admit it. I was hunting online for some good funnies for you today and got sidetracked watching videos of dogs "singing" along with various tunes. Please don't ask me why.  But since I'm feeling a little brain dead now, I'm going to offer you a chance to exercise your little gray cells.

Here's a hump day quiz!

Don't worry, the answers are are the bottom of this post but give it your best try before peeking.


Q1. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
Q2. What is the main reason for divorce?
Q3. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?

What? Are you all twisted up already?

 

 Keep going. You can do it. 

Q4. River Ravi flows in which state?
Q5. What can you never eat for breakfast?
Q6. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
Q7. What looks like half an apple?

 Oh, come on. They're not that hard.

 Only three to go.

Q8. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
Q10. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

 Good grief. They're dropping like flies.

 Okay. Okay. You can relax. Here are the answers.

A1. Wet
A2. Marriage
A3. Very large hands
A4. Liquid
A5. Lunch & dinner
A6. You will never find an elephant that has one hand.
A7. The other half
A8. No time at all, the wall is already built.
A9. No problem, he sleeps at night.
A10. Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

How did you do? (Be honest now.)

I'm doing something a little different for your "aw" today. I'm feeling a little nostalgic and a bit sad after our first Thanksgiving without my dad so I've been spending time looking at old photos. This is my dad and my brother playing a little one on one football. This may only work for me but the happiness on my brother's face seemed like a perfect "aw".

Did it work for you?

Are you there? Over the hump and sailing toward a wonderful weekend?

Excellent! My work here is done.

Oh, and don't forget DL Hammons'...

You'll want to get in on this one.

That's it. Have a great week/weekend. See you next Wednesday.

Thought for Today:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

I Like Hump Day, But There's a Camel in My Kitchen

Happy Hump Day

There's a camel on my kitchen table.

No, he's not for hump day.  In fact there's also a donkey in my sink. A couple lambs on the floor. And Joseph, Mary, and a shepherd sitting on my kitchen chairs.

I sort of volunteered last Christmas to repaint all the figures in our church's Nativity scene. I planned to do this over the summer but...well, you all know what happened to my summer. So now I'm frantically trying to get these done so we can decorate the church on Sunday.

Yeah, yeah, you know what this is. It's my excuse for being late with your hump day post.  I would have skipped it but I promised DL Hammons after I missed a week a couple weeks ago that I'd do better. So here we go. It's gonna be short, sweet and hopefully funny.

Here's a cat photo I missed last week.

How do they do that?

Remember that blog I did a while back about blending in?

Yup, this little one's got it figure out.

Joke time...

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I gave myself a personal TSA pat down, looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered. I always call her 'honey' in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it's been stolen." 

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Diane's voice, "Ken, I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

"I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car!"

 Oops.

Hey, here's a great tip for second graders of all ages.

This one was trying for a little creativity in the parent's signature department.

Did you know I was a techno weenie in my former life (IT Director)? We wanted to have shirts made up that said: "Have you tried rebooting?"

It made sense in the office. Maybe not so much here.

 Did you get hit with snow this week? We got about 5" with record setting cold.

I think I saw this lady...

She wasn't quite ready for winter.


And I wouldn't forget your weekly "aw".

I know we see a lot of these 'kids aad dogs sleeping together' pictures. But there was something about this one, especially the look of endless patience on the dog's face, that made it an "aw" for me.

Was it for you?

Okay, this is a post and run but I hope I came up with enough funnies to get you over the mid week hump and coasting toward a fabulous weekend.

Did any of these tickle your funny bone?

Back to my painting. Wish me luck.

And have a wonderful week. See you next Wednesday.

Quote for Today:

There are three kinds of men: Some learn by reading. Some learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.  ~ Will Rogers

Teenagers and Cats - Not to be Confused With Teenaged Cats

Happy Hump Day.

The theme for today is ridiculous...and the slightly scary. 

Today's photos are all cats. Cats, cats, and more cats. And since I'm a dog person, that could be the scary part - but it isn't.  The text parts of this post are simple questions and answers supposedly given by teenagers. I can't swear these are all true but even if half of them are, I fear for our future.

Let's start off with a feline photo.

Hmm. That could almost qualify as scary.

Now some Q and A's.

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. 

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death. 

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. 

 

 

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true) 

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby. 

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (You know, like Julius Seizure)

  Okay, this is definitely scary.

 Well, isn't it?

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'.
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome. 

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. 

  

And while we're on the subject of plants...

  

Definitely needed a bigger pot.

Okay, last three.

Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
 
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
 
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant)
  

Whew. After those answers and contemplating our future, I think we need a good "aw".

 

 

Look at these eyes.

 Bet you said it.

And don't forget to check out DL Hammons' blogfest.

 

That's it for today. Hope it did the trick and you're over the midweek hump and sailing toward a fantastic weekend.

Did you have a favorite?

(In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that, based on my teenage grandchildren and most of their friends, I'm really quite optimistic about our future.)

See you next week.

Question for Today:
 
What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Hump Day Signs of the Times

Happy Hump Day

And - whoops - I'm afraid life tossed a whole bunch of stuff my way last week and by the time I shoveled out from under, Hump Day had come and gone. Sorry I left you to struggle over the mid-week hump without your funnies.

Lately, I've seen a bunch of signs that really tickled my funny bone, so I'm going simple with this post and just sharing them with you.

Of course, we have to start our day with some coffee.

Make that LOTS of coffee.

And I don't want to be disturbed while I'm drinking it.

I think that covers everything.

Now I need to walk the dog.

 Um, it sure looks like a walkway.

Let's try the next street.

Well, the name is certainly promising.

Can we find a good spot?

I guess not.

Maybe we'll try the park.

(Sometimes it's not the wording, it's the placement.)

Well, pooh. I guess I'll take the dog home and go buy some food for the cat.

Does this really need to be explained?

Now here's an interesting advertisement.

I think I'd be afraid to go there.

(Think about it.)

But this was my absolute favorite.

Aw, come on - you laughed.

I didn't find any signs that made me say "aw" so I have to go with a picture.

I've given you several babies with pets but how about babies with each other?

Yeah, that's what I said.

And don't forget to check out DL Hammons' blogfest.

I'm doing this one. Should be fun.

Okay, are we there? Over that dreaded mid week hump?

Excellent!

Did you have a favorite?

Have a fantastic weekend (or week or whatever) and I'll see you next Wednesday.

Thought for the Day:

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Happy Hump Day - Kids Quotes and Random Funnies

Happy Hump Day

Hi. Are you looking for some funnies to get you over the mid week hump. Well let's see what we have today.

I'm still on a bit of a kid roll so most of today's jokes are out of the mouths of babes. The pictures are just random funnies I saw this week.

Let's start with a frustrated first grader.

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"

Speaking of talking...

This one strikes a memory for me.

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says a prayer for you each night? That's very commendable.What does she say?"

 

The  little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

Anyone relate?

I think all dog parents understand this one.

 Now there is a certain logic to this one.

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We  have been learning how powerful kings and queens  were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child  blurted out, "Aces!"

 I think someone's been playing a little Texas Hold 'Em

Kids are really big on logic if you think about it.

This child was answering questions about the ocean. 

"Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers."

 Well, yeah.

This picture doesn't go with anything but it cracked me up.

 

Check out that dog's expression.

Last one.

A doctor was taking her four-year-old to preschool. The doctor's stethoscope was on the car seat and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 

 

"Be still, my heart," thought the physician, "my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!"

 

Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

Oh, that's gotta hurt.

Ready for your "aw"?

How about this pair?

Can you feel the love?

That's it for today. Are you there? Over the hump and sliding down that slippery slope to the weekend?

Perfect.

Before I go, I've got to give a shout out to blog buddy DL Hammons and the

Here's a chance to share again your favorite post from earlier in the year, or maybe one that didn't get the exposure it deserved fist time around. Get all the details and sign up here. 

 

Have a great week. See you next Wednesday.

 

Thought for Today:

 

A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.

Reminders, Funnies, and Bye For a While

Happy Hump Day

Before we get to your hump day funnies, I have an announcement: I'm going to stop blogging for a bit. I was doing pretty well juggling family, writing and blogging/social media, but the last few weeks it's been family, gardening/yard work, disaster response (we were out again last weekend), writing, and blogging/social media. Guess what's getting squeezed out. I think a month or so should let me get caught up so please check back toward the beginning of July. Don't forget me, okay?

A couple other quick notes before we get to your hump day funnies...

 Just a reminder that the submission deadline for Write Club is  May 31. If you missed my earlier post on this great event, hop over to the Write Club site for all the details.

Also, congratulations to Liz Fichera. Her lastest, PLAYED, goes on sale today.

Okay, just as a change of pace, I'm going to lead off your funnies with a joke (instead of a silly pet picture).

Two  little  boys are going to the hospital the next day for operations.  

The  older boy leans over and asks, "What  are you having done?" 

The  second boy says, "I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm  afraid."   

The  first boy says, "You've got nothing to worry about.  I had that  done when I was four. They put  you to sleep, and when you wake up, they  give you lots  of Jell-O and ice cream.  It's a  breeze."   

The second  boy then asks, "What are you going in  for?"  

The first  boy says, "Circumcision."  

"Whoa!"  the smaller  boy replies.  "Good luck, buddy.  I had that done when I was  born.  Couldn't  walk for a year."

 

 

 Well, he couldn't...

Since I'm going to be gone for a while, I thought I should offer this Public Service Announcement:

 

 

 

Hee hee hee.

 

 

Okay, now tell me the truth. Do you think this selfie craze is getting a little out of hand?.

 

 

I think that guy was the clerk at the BMV when I got my license renewed last week. 

 

 

And not to forget your "aw"...

 

 

 Can we get some kitty love?

 That's it for now. I hope you're over the hump for this week and you'll manage to get through the next few weeks without your hump day funnies.

 

 I'll miss you all and may pop in for a comment or two here and there if time permits.

Take care.

Quote for Today: 

"Nothing can dim the light which shines from within." ~ Maya Angelou    April 4, 1928 - May 28, 2014

Furniture Woes, PK Hrezo's New Cover, and the 2014 Write Club is Coming!!

Happy Hump Day

Here we go with some hump day funnies to get you through the week or just through the day, whenever you stop by.

My pictures today are all on the same theme: pets and people furniture. 

You know, sometimes they don't always go together.

There are cracks in the seats to slip through...

and in the backs as well.

Sometimes it's a size issue.

And sometimes...um...I'm not sure how to explain this one.

Maybe we better move on to a joke.

I'm a little old lady, so I can tell these...

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asked, 'Are you a stranger here?'

He replied, 'I lived here years ago.'

'So, where were you all these years?'

'In prison,' he said.

'Why did they put you in prison?'

He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'

Okay, let's break from the funnies for a minute for some great news. 

First, we have the cover reveal for PK Hrezo's Butterman Travel sequel,
INDUCTION DAY

The year 2069 is coming to a close, and eighteen-year-old Bianca Butterman's pilot license is finally official. She's ready for the Induction Day she’s waited for since she was a kid—the one that will secure her name on the Butterman family tree of time travelers. But ever since the media discovered Bianca is pop superstar Tristan Helms’ latest new honey, everything Bianca does or says becomes a target of criticism. Having her professional credibility topping the gossip sites across social media is an open invitation for the government to step in and regulate Bianca’s Induction. Now she will have to ask herself if saving 1500 people from drowning is worth losing everything she’s ever worked for, including the Butterman family biz.

 

Great cover and it sounds like a terrific story. You can add it to your GoodReads shelf by clicking HERE.

Congratulations, PK.

Second news item:

IT'S BACK!

DL Hammons' fabulous Write Club for 2014 is now accepting submissions.

Haven't heard about the Write Club? I'll let DL explain...

"It’s a modest writing competition whose inspiration was derived from the movie FIGHT CLUB.  There are numerous versions of this concept around the internet, but nothing like we do it here.  This unique approach, combined with your participation, continues to set it apart from the other writing competitions and is responsible for its phenomenal growth.  Its essence embodies simple, good-natured competition, with lots and lots of fun sprinkled on top. 

Over the course of eight weeks I’ll be holding twice-weekly bouts in which the winners will advance to the play-offs, which will ultimately lead to a single champion.  Bouts between who…or what…you ask.  Anonymous 500 word writing samples, submitted under a pen name by anyone who wishes to take part, that’s who.   The writing can be any genre, any style (even poetry) with the word count being the only restriction.  It’s a way to get your writing in front of a lot of readers, without having to suffer the agony of exposure. 

And the winners are determined by WRiTE CLUB readers!"

Sound like fun? Of course it does. So hop over to the Write Club site for all the details and send in your submission.         

Now, I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking I forgot your "aw". 

Never!

I'm staying with my "pets in furniture" collection but this one qualified as an "aw".

The eyes did it for me.

How about you?

That's it for today. Hope you found a smile or a chuckle or even a good old belly laugh. 

Did I get an "aw"?

Did you have a favorite?

Have a great day, week, weekend...oh heck, have a great everything.

See you next Wednesday.

Scientific Fact for Today:

The National Institutes of Health has just released the results of a $200 million research study completed under a grant to Johns Hopkins. 

The new study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.